Shit You Should Read Category

Shit You Should Read: Jewish Wizards in Harry Potter

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Were you ever suspicious of Dumbledore’s resemblance to Santa Claus? Why doesn’t any Harry Potter character look like Hanukkah Harry??? Or at least Moses?

When I was little, I thought I was really cool because I had the same initials as Harry Potter. And I may or may not have drawn a lightning bolt in the middle of my elementary school era signature.

Happy Hanukkah and happy Hannahkkah!

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Shit You Should Read: Things I Want This Thanksgiving

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Last week, I decided that Thanksgiving should become a little more Thanks-getting. I value the importance of setting aside a day each year to recognize and appreciate what we normally overlook. But wouldn’t it be funny to think about what you want on Thanksgiving? I mean, there is never a day of the year, maybe even a second of the day, when you don’t want something. Let’s be real–you always want something, big or small. You want to receive a text (that’s why you’re always checking your phone). You want to go to the bathroom. You want to eat a bagel. You want to nap. You want to take off your heels. We always, always want something. So, I wrote a thing about this for The Rib, and it is a shit you should read.

Let’s hear our endless wanting out. Let that freedom ring. What do you really, really want this Thanksgiving? Here are some things I put on my list:

1. To meet an attractive, very distant cousin at dinner who I can legally hook up with.

2. A fish course. Because I’m a pescatarian, you know?

3. An infinite supply of wine. You can decide on the red vs. white. I’m not mature enough to understand which would complement the meal better.

4. Precautionary Gas-X.

5. To match on Tinder with every high school boy I fantasized about in the seventh grade. Ain’t nothing like being home for the holidays, eh?

6. To get over 100 likes on my Instagram of the Thanksgiving spread. (Duh.)

You can read the rest of my list here. On a more serious note, however, I’m thankful to be spending Thanksgiving with my entire extended family (two aunts, two uncles, two first cousins, one great aunt, one great uncle, three first cousins once removed, two second cousins, my mom, my dad, and my two brothers) in a Midwestern suburb. I’m thankful that it took us ten and a half hours to drive here through a snowstorm. I’m thankful that this material is top-notch to one day include in my memoir. I’m also thankful for hangover shits, laptops, my cool family, my education, well-fitting denim, and the sweet liberation of chopping off my hair. Chic-ly, though. Not Britney style.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? Or, if it’s more fun to answer, what do you want?

(Side note: If you didn’t catch my Mr. Bean GIF reference, then we cannot be friends.)

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Here’s a Present for You (Yes, You)

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Because you all know how much I love a good Lion King song, a good flashmob, a good time in the concrete jungle, and a good singing voice in a public location that incites uncomfortable staring (on my part):

If this had you feelin’ some type of way and you need another ‘ahhh-tingenya-baba-gichi-baba’ fix, let’s #TBT ourselves on over to the last time I filled your afternoons with excitement from the African plains by clicking here.

Oh, and don’t let me forget this graphic, which I must include in every Lion King-related post on The FYD. (Because yes, there are more than one.)