Flavor of the Week: Chrome

Spongebob Imagination

I tried every app out there. I could run through the list of them all, followed by a ‘you name it’ exclamation, but that would take up all 350 – 500 words in the post, wasting time, energy, and eyesight. Still though, no matter which app I bestowed as my lab rat biotch, I couldn’t find the perfect formula. And if you aren’t envisioning me as Dexter from Dexter’s Laboratory right now, then you’re doing it all wrong.

I asked everyone I knew for photo-editing tips. I read all of the tech-y pieces online, I listened — and wholeheartedly at that — to the App Store’s truest recommendations, and I trusted ‘top lists’ to grant me salvation. I knew what the light at the end of my tunnel looked like — rather, I knew what the contrast and clarity I wanted portrayed in my muploads. But I walked through many tunnels many times, and after what felt like years and years of searching, I was still stuck in darkness.

One day, I mustered up the chutzpah to ask a friend to ask her friend how she made her pics look oh-so fabulous. She told me she would ask, and responded less than five minutes later with a single word: Chrome.

Chrome, you say?! What is this ‘chrome?’ Where does one find it? How does one use it? After another ten minutes of existentially questioning, I realized that Chrome was close to home all along. I had no idea that my overpriced iPhone 5s, for which I traded upgrades with my mom to receive, had the capability to do the Chrome thing the whole time. We’re talking no apps, no downloads, no time wasted on deciphering the difference between ‘exposure’ and ‘shadows.’

I felt like I was accepted into an elite clique of girls who could professionally mupload a saga of college tailgating. I had the key to being cool, and while my photos on Facebook were rarely more exciting than my father’s (who attends more concerts than I do parties), life got a little bit better. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but it’s a statement full of love.

Now that everyone uses Chrome, it’s definitely not as cool anymore. And it’s not that it’s uncool because everyone uses it. It’s more that it’s uncool because every photo is now taken in Chrome, as if Chrome is a new type of film or something — it is, most definitely, a standard — so seeing a photo outside of its natural habitat (Chrome) has become more *special*. A photo in ‘Normal’ is raw, gritty, and candid. Like a Free People model, or Lindsay Lohan with unintentional side-boob.

Chrome, I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s me.