Flavor of the Week: Hilary Duff


All right, all right, all right. This flavor is long overdue, but it is not expired.

Like Lizzie McGuire before her Roman debut, Hilary Duff has been in the shadows of The Fro-Yo Diaries. She has not received enough recognition, and the fact that she was only the subject of an FYD post once alongside Aaron Carter is disheartening. I’m so disappointed in myself that if I was the type to say Hail Mary’s I would. But like Gordo, I’m Jewish, so that won’t work for shit.

I am, was, and will always be obsessed with Hilary Duff. She’s had her highs (Lizzie McGuire), she’s had her lows (when she got too skinny and recorded a bunch of music videos), she’s caused me to memorize every line of A Cinderella Story, AND then try the salmon diet her evil stepmother swore by. Childhood infatuations generally fade with time because they have reason to. You and the object of your attention grow in different directions. They give up acting roles, they get arrested for drugs, you start dedicating more time to TV shows about drugs, yadda yadda yadda. The thing about Hilary Duff is that, to be cliché, she is like fine wine — she betters with age. She’s got her shit together, she’s as real as the J. Lo song, and, of course, she named her son Luca. If that isn’t the rainbow sprinkles on your cup of fro-yo, then I don’t know what is.

I could talk about Lizzie McGuire for ages. When people spoke about Jerry Maguire, I always assumed he had something to do with Lizzie. Lizzie and I are kind of the same person. My mom calls me Lizzie sometimes. Like, actually. I’m not trying to be funny. When I went on an eighth grade trip to Greece, I tried my hardest to emulate the outfit Lizzie wore on the plane to Italy. I know every word to even the most obscure songs on both the TV and movie soundtracks and I have VCR recordings of the oldest and best episodes. Oh, BTW, I still have leftover Lizzie McGuire Valentine’s cards from third grade. They’re probably more valuable than baseball cards. That does NOT imply I plan on trading them.

Right now, Hilary’s resurrection is due to the release of her new single and music video, ‘Chasing the Sun.’ It’s a little Natasha Bedingfield, a little Paolo and Isabella, and a lot of running because the sun is very far away, moves very fast, and must be difficult to catch. But if anyone can do it, it’s probably Lizzie McGuire as she rides with Gordo on horseback, nuzzling his Jew-fro from behind.